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This might just possibly be the wierdest shit I've heard of in almost 25 years of dry cleaning. These two young people come in today with a pair of jeans and a dress shirt. They need it "right away" and want it same day.



Well, I have to explain to them that you have to get it in by a certain time to get it back the same day, and that time had long since passed. In fact, it was about two hours before closing and we had been done cleaning and pressing for quite awhile. They just looked at each other, and I could almost see the light bulb going off over their heads.



"It's for a funeral," the girl says. "Yeah, that's right, a funeral. My BROTHER'S funeral," says the guy. Well, I know they are making this up, but I can't really say that, so I give my condolences and tell them if they need it, the soonest we can do is 10 am tomorrow morning.



They tell me the jeans must be starched crisp, that this outfit will go on the deceased person in the casket. By the looks of the shirt, it looks more like something someone would go out to the clubs in, but I can't say that, so I tell them to stop back in the morning at 10 and everything will be ready. The guy repeats that the jeans MUST be starched, that's what his brother wanted. I tell him no problem, and they leave.



About a half hour later, the girl comes back in with a funny look on her face. "Um, we just found out that the dead guy (yes that's what she called him) is allergic to starch, so don't starch the pants."



I wait until she leaves again before I go around the corner and about die laughing. They just found out that he is allergic to starch? what did they do, get a seance going and ask him? He supposedly wanted starch, now he's allergic to it? The guy is DEAD....starch or no, he wouldn't be bothered!



It was so obvious that these people just wanted their outfit cleaned....they didn't need to make up some sort of a lie about a funeral. We would have done it anyway, but the bit about suddenly finding out the dead guy was allergic to starch was too much.



That tops the list of the wierdest crap I have EVER heard in the line of duty!

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NLW
01:07 Dec 30 2009

This totally cracked me up!!!

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Serenity
01:42 Dec 30 2009

ROFL LMAO!

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Bijou
02:23 Dec 30 2009

LMAo, i use to work for a dry cleaners, and it was never a dull moment with customers

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Theban
09:15 Dec 30 2009

That is really funny, I would of had to of said something sarcastic!

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BLOODLIFE
11:24 Dec 30 2009

Very funny, but don't laugh too much as the dead have feelings too.

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birra
15:35 Dec 30 2009

Would you like to go into the eternal ever after and have to pop a benadryl every day?



Where's the love, man? Where's the love?

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madamefate
09:04 Dec 31 2009

LMAO! wow.....

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Isis101
03:32 Jan 01 2010

Okay...

Well, what difference does it make to the 'dead guy' if his clothes are starched or not? He ain't gonna' get that itchy feelin' or break out in hives, ya' know?

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Two words to describe the city streets here...skating rink.



It had snowed, of course, then froze, then it was a mix of rain and sleet, then it snowed some more, rained some more, and froze again...jeebers it took me ages to get home from work and I only live 4 blocks away!



My boss asked (well, sort of insisted) that I come to his house for Christmas eve dinner. Now, I am perfectly happy to snuggle in here by myself. I am not one of those people who needs family and friends around in huge gangs, which is what that evening is going to be. And Lord knows, I see enough of my boss during the day that I really don't need to see him again at night.



But, he is concerned that I am going to be alone at Christmas. This is not the end of the world. It's the least of my concerns really. In a world where people are out of work, losing their homes, sick and dying, spending Christmas alone is a teeny little thing. And I will be with my pets, who love me, and all will be well.



Geez. Now I have to find something to wear. I should go in my pajamas, just to be mean, lol.

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PandorasBx
01:22 Dec 24 2009

I think a Christmas pajama party would be fun!

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CarnelianMyst
01:32 Dec 24 2009

OK...next year...my place....VR Christmas pajama party!

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Theban
11:43 Dec 29 2009

Yeah lol, pajamas party sounds cool.

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The weather outside is...shitty. We currently have a mix of snow, sleet, rain and god knows what all else coming down here. And it is supposed to keep coming down thru Christmas.



I was telling my boss, remember when you were a kid and it seemed to snow for days and days? Then you grew up and realized it was a storm front moving through. Well, now it WILL snow for days and days...what a mess. And on Christmas too. This will fudge up people's traveling plans, for sure.



I plan on high tailing it home after work Thursday, and snuggling in right here till Monday. I have plenty of food, lots of dvds to watch...oh yeah..and VR too.

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Isis101
01:41 Dec 23 2009

And here I am complaining about the 49 degrees we had today (with the wind chill)...It was sunny, and I kept trying to find sun spots to stand in while out...LOL!



Happy Holidays, hon!

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birra
02:48 Dec 23 2009

Hmm.. here in Buffalo they're calling for sun with intermitent snow through Thursday, and then 40F with rain on the 25th...



Here's to a non-white christmas!

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Guardian
15:21 Dec 23 2009

Big smiles....I DO remember it snowing for days when I was a kid and I really miss that.

I am sooooo looking forward to this snowstorm.

The snowmobiles are in the front and ready to go roooomazoomzoom.

Happy Holidays!

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BLOODLIFE
19:10 Dec 23 2009

Have a great Xmas hun ;-)

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Here is my favorite Christmas joke, and it's clean, so you can tell your kids.



A sunday school class was drawing pictures of the Nativity,and when they were done, the teacher was looking at them. She saw different manger scenes, wise men, animals and so on, then she saw little Johnny's drawing.



Johnny had drawn Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus, and a sort of big circular person in the corner with a halo.



"who is that supposed to be?" the teacher asked.



"why, that's Round John Virgin," Johnny replied.



LMAO!!

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imagesinwords
02:20 Dec 22 2009

HA!

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xxxPassionxxx
04:47 Dec 22 2009

That's to cute

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Isis101
01:41 Dec 23 2009

LOL! Cute!

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After a couple more culinary disasters, the kitchen at work now is locked and my boss' parents can't get in. He is looking to find them some other place to live, because they just get into way too much mischief/damage here at the business.



We have a customer who, bless her, loves to bake and treats us to plates of homemade cookies etc every so often. At holiday time she goes into overdrive and brings a big ol tray of cookies, fudge, bars, etc. My bosses devour this, and I barely get a bite because they hog it all.



She found this out and made me my very own batch of goodies, and put it in a big tupperware bowl with a red bow and a card with my name on it. I was so stoked, at last, my own goodies! I put them in the kitchen cupboard to enjoy later and continued on with my day.



A couple hours later, my boss says to me, "what's that smell? You cooking something?" I said no, and wondered what the hell this smell was...it smelled like chocolate...and..burned plastic. We tore into the kitchen and opened the oven door, and the smoke and smell about knocked us over. My boss turned the oven off and cleared out the smoke so we could see...my lovely bowl of treats, melted into a globby mess, and the Tupperware bowl all gooey. Shit.



My boss exploded, and went to find his parents. His dad was the culprit...turned out he thought the treats were anyone's, and he wanted to have them hot....so he put bowl and all in the oven, then wandered upstairs, sat down to watch something on TV and forgot about it.



I was so pissed off. Not the least because my much longed-for treats were gone, but because my stuff ALWAYS seems to get the shitty end of the stick. Even if it has my name on it, my boss' folks find it and mess with it in some way. One day they unplugged the crock pot of beef stew I was making and put it in the fridge because they thought it was getting "too hot!"



So now the kitchen is locked and only myself and my boss have a key. This will also stop my boss' buddies from wandering in there and helping themselves to our food when they come to visit. One guy took so much of the roast pork and potatoes that we didn't have enough come lunch time. Asshole.



Yeah, it's just food and it can be replaced. But still. Leave my stuff ALONE!



*end/rant

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Isis101
04:14 Dec 19 2009

Oh my God...what a disaster! I'm sorry about you losing your food...again!

Looks like those two old foggies need to be put into a home...NOW.

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Theban
02:39 Dec 20 2009

Great writing,



However I am pissed so I can not talk right now other than to say, I wish I had the pork!

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A consumer alert, for those of you who have coats from certain labels on your holiday list. Please beware if you are planning on buying any outerwear from the following brand labels: Baby Phat, Dereon, and Coogi.



The Dry Cleaning and Laundry Institute has recently recognized these brands as tops among the least serviceable outerwear providers. My cleaners deals with these on a regular basis, and we no longer accept them without a signed release from the customer not holding us responsible for the coats not holding up.



These brands tend to have lots of bling bling attached to the coats. Crystals, leather strips, painted on letters....which do not hold up in the process of cleaning. The trim which is held on by glue falls off, chips or dissolves. The dyes in the leather trim bleed onto the body of the coat. Zipper pulls are not attached well and break off or dissolve.



Worst of all, all these things can happen in addition to severe garment shrinkage. Even when the garment is handled according to the label directions it can distort and shrink. Most of these garments are made in China and other foreign countries, who do not recognize US laws in accordance with cleaning care. You cannot put a "dry clean only" label on a garment which has painted on trim, beads that will melt, trim that will chip, or cause some other damage.



Buyers pay a high price for these labels and attach some "status" to owning them. But time and again we have to explain to customers that the coat they paid a lot of money for may not survive the cleaning process intact, because the manufacturers have put trim and other components on the coat that simply will not stand up.



Of course, we do clean some of these coats and they come out fine. But we advise people to hold onto their sales receipts, in case they will need to return their garments to place of purchase.



Caveat emptor..big time, in case you are considering buying any of those labels.

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atyourwindow
04:00 Dec 13 2009

my coat is a (monroe and main) top quality wool with thermol guard inside....ya get what ya pay for i always say.

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CarnelianMyst
04:17 Dec 13 2009

Something that wears well, you can clean at home and is really warm...get over to your nearest Farm and Fleet and get a Carhartt coat. Those literally do not wear out, they repel stains well and are super warm. Even the homeboys in my hood wear em! :)

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Found a couple of Facebook groups that look interesting.



"Being afraid to let your leg hang off the bed in case it gets eaten"



"You're not a vampire, you're a sparkly douchebag in a tree."





Hmm...which one to join first...LMAO!

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madamefate
02:21 Dec 10 2009

Pick number 2!!! *holds up three fingers*

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BLOODLIFE
08:58 Dec 10 2009

Yea but aren't they great .. lol

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Theban
11:35 Dec 10 2009

Hmmm I must get on face book..I would choose number 1...nothing wrong with a bit of leg every now and then!

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Isis101
04:16 Dec 19 2009

Since I don't live in a place with monster man-eating rats, I'll go with #2...

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NLW
03:19 Dec 30 2009

Number two!! Airing out your feet is too pleasurable to give up!

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Woot! The big blizzard shut us down, so our store is closed for the day. I get to stay home and be lazy, not something I get to do too much of.



We got about 4 inches of wet nasty snow last night, now today it is snowing like mad and blowing, and behind that is some icy temps. The off ramps to most of the highways are shut down, and we are under a state of emergency. The local newspeople are on every 30 minutes warning people to stay home and not go out, but I bet someone will go out anyway, and get in some kind of mess.



I just gave my big crab some fruit bits. He is hoarding them and making little chirpy noises, so I know he's happy. :)

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BLOODLIFE
19:55 Dec 09 2009

You're happy, the crabs are happy, you'd think it was Xmas or something :-P

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A cautionary tale, for those people who think it's funny n' cool to post provocative pictures of themselves on Facebook and other social networking sites.



My boss' 3 daughters all have Facebook. Well, 2 do now. They all asked me to add them, so I did, thinking what the hell, this is funny. The other day I happened to look at the eldest one's page (17 years old). The pic I saw made my jaw drop.



She had posed with a friend. She was holding up a handful of ten and twenty dollar bills, over her chest, which looked like that was all she had to cover herself with. She faced the camera with the ubiquitous pouty "kissyface" pose that so many young people find attractive. Her friend was leaning toward her with her mouth open and her tongue out, VERY close to her face, as though wanting to lick her. It looked like a shot from a sleazy porn video.



But that wasn't the worst thing. Below, in the comment section, I saw that some of her friends had left some rather ripe comments. One of them, a guy, had left this "babe, I really wanna DO you!" and she had replied "well maybe you will get lucky this weekend."



I went to work next day and pulled my boss into his office and got Facebook up on his PC and showed him this. He had no idea..he never knows what his kids get up to online. He promptly blew his top and wanted to know who that guy was. By the end of the day, his daughter's page was pulled down, her car was taken away, and the big screen TV she wanted for Christmas went right out the window.



People think that is really cute to post those type of pics on public sites..they never think what fallout there will be. AND parents need to keep better track of what their kids do online. Now my boss vigilantly tracks his kids' activities, and he found that his youngest had posted her cell phone number on Myspace!



Stupid, stupid, stupid.

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Isis101
23:12 Dec 06 2009

A similar incident happened between my youngest sis and her youngest daughter...who is now 15 years old and pregnant.

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imagesinwords
23:54 Dec 06 2009

That's wild stuff. Kinda funny that I am creating a second Facebook profile for far more innocent reasons. I guess that's in the eye of the beholder though- mine is because of mere points of view. And a point of view is obviously deadly to some people.

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LadyKrystalynDarkstar
23:59 Dec 06 2009

I think you did the right thing! Good for you. This goes on way too much. Parents just don't think. "Oh my child would never do such a thing!". Think again! Kudos to you.

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birra
02:30 Dec 07 2009

Parents need to stay aware. They can't hide behind the, "I don't understand technology," excuse and not be aware of what is happening in their childrens' lives.



I know plenty of parents that got facebook and myspace accounts right after their kids got them. And it's not a matter of spying or invading their privacy - it all goes into the job of guiding them into adulthood...

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madamefate
02:35 Dec 07 2009

My thoughts exactly! Tell your boss that the eyeball in the mouth wants that the tv!!!!!!!

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Theban
11:41 Dec 08 2009

Wow, that's bad!

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sahahria
19:17 Dec 08 2009

o.O



Another thing people don't consider is that potential employers also will look at your pages, and if they see something they don't like- they are likely to pass the job to someone that is more "appropriate" in their public image.

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Big story in the paper on six area teenagers who were involved in a horrible two car crash Thursday night. Three were killed outright, one is in serious condition with head injuries, and the other two had minor injuries.



During our first snow/ice storm of the season, four 17-year-olds decided they just HAD to go to Wal-Mart. Not used to driving in adverse conditions on an interstate highway, the driver lost control of his car and careened into the oncoming traffic where his car was broadsided by a BMW. The little Corolla never had a chance.



Luckily, the airbags deployed, so the driver is alive, but just barely. The two teens in the Beemer walked away with barely a scratch.



But I ask you...a snow/ice storm, school night, why the HELL are you going out in that, if you don't have to? There is nothing you need that badly that you have to pile all your friends in a car and go to the store on a bad weather night. Stay home, stay safe.



I feel horrible for the kids who died, their families and friends. According to the paper they were nice kids, all friends of long standing and good students.



Please, young people, stay home when the weather is so bad. Nothing at the store is worth risking your life for.

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Isis101
22:34 Dec 05 2009

Wow...this is sad. When the weather is bad, everyone should seriously think twice about going out.



An under-aged drunk kid plowed into a car with a family of four here - right after Thanksgiving. Everyone died.

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Oceanne
22:56 Dec 05 2009

:(

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Theban
11:51 Dec 08 2009

It's the thrill, the excitement...the buzz...



Remembering when I was a teenager, I couldn't die.



Nothing could touch me! I would take many risks, some would of horrified my parents if they had known.



This is sad, but part of life.

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There is a pothole in front of my apartment building large enough to lose a small child in. I have to straddle the damn thing to go up the driveway. Can't wait to see what that looks like in the spring time, after it has frozen and thawed a few times.

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madamefate
02:41 Dec 02 2009

giggles you said straddle

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BLOODLIFE
08:24 Dec 02 2009

''losing a small child in'' ... that's just good ole' wishful thinking!!

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Morrigon
00:14 Dec 06 2009

Here in Buffalo, we have a great solution for potholes. Grocery carts. Yes indeed. Apparently it "fixes" the problem of a big hole if you stick a grocery cart in the middle.

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Morrigon
00:14 Dec 06 2009

Here in Buffalo, we have a great solution for potholes. Grocery carts. Yes indeed. Apparently it "fixes" the problem of a big hole if you stick a grocery cart in the middle.

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Theban
11:44 Dec 08 2009

Where I live we have many caves in the road!

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